I have a love/hate relationship with Mr. Market for…..well, far too long. He had a panic attack and loss of power this this month. He chose to “shoot first and ask questions later”. Some of my favorite flirtations have been exposed as having been financially unfaithful by hiding their debts “off balance sheet”.

Financially Unfaithful
Some guys, like Mr. AIG and Mr. WaMu were constantly telling me what I wanted to hear. Their agents (brokers, analysts, experts) told me how solid and secure they were, but behind the scenes were getting their kicks with low end borrowers, lots of borrowed money, and huge parties. They’ve now caught some nasty diseases, and have spread it to those who didn’t think to protect themselves.

Trading as Life
Traders often talk about the market in metaphor. Some say the market is a game, poker or a casino. I tried all of those, but didn’t find them helpful. Games operate under known rules that can be learned easily. There might still be strategy to master, as in chess, but the rules don’t change.

Nassim Taleb broke my affinity for the casino/game metaphor in his book “The Black Swan”. He explained that Las Vegas sets up games with a finite number of known possibilities so they always win. But then a tiger attacks the one person they never expected, his trainer (nor were they insured for as an event) it put the casino at risk of a catastrophic loss.

Events can happen outside the imagination of the participants in real markets – games can be controlled.

All participants contribute to the events whether they work on Wall Street or Main Street. Since I don’t have inside information about when the Federal Reserve will change the rules by deciding that one company is “too big to fail” (AIG, Fannie, Freddie) and another would create “moral hazard” if it were bailed out (Lehman Brothers), I can never know the full nature of the “rules”. It’s dynamic.

Some rules will be in force for years, and then one day the SEC can ban selling a company short (selling the stock you borrow from someone else, buy it from the market later at what is hopefully a lower price. You then replace the shares you borrowed from someone else’s account – sell high – buy low).

By observing reality, I see that nothing is forbidden and there are no rules.

The market is unpredictable, volatile, competitive, and powerful. Sun Tzu’s bestseller, “The Art of War” has an adapted version for traders and investors. I adopted this one fully for a while. War analogies abound on Wall Street. Common phrases include “I’m getting killed”, “pulling the trigger”, “hired guns”, “body rain”, “churn burn and bury”, and “blowing up” to name but a few. The world of Wall Street is littered with masculine metaphors about war, sex and dominance.

I have never found it successful to try to act like a man. Not only is it impossible, it isn’t fun. I don’t want to “blow up”.

Warren Buffett was the first person that I heard refer to the market as Mr. Market. It just hit me one day while talking with my sister. She has listened to countless hours of my trials with Mr. Market (which in my book should qualify her for sainthood).

One day she told me, “It’s like you’re in a bad relationship with the market. He’s treating you like crap, doesn’t really care if you exist, does his own thing, lies to you, but you just won’t break up and take your losses. Why don’t you just break up with him, and find someone who will really love you?”

Golden rule in trading is “Cut your losses short.”
You can’t sit around and suffer bad behavior from Mr. Market that is opposite to your expectations or you will suffer. To quote Dr. Phil, “You teach people how to treat you.” You should never go into a relationship thinking you will reform your man, and Mr. Market is no different. He will show you who he is, and you have only to decide if you are staying or going.

Market is a Man
I was picking the “bad boys” and expected them to act like “prince charming”. After that, the market metaphor as a man stuck. It was so simple, how could the market be anything else but masculine? Attend a seminar about trading/investing or better yet walk the floor of the New York Stock Exchange and you will see that the vast majority of traders are male.

Tenacity in Investing
Most of us suffer a loss in the market and give up. Some give up before they ever start by telling me they aren’t good with numbers, just let someone else take care of investing, or don’t have any money to invest anyway.

But like most women, I have spent a great deal of time trying to figure out the mind of a man. This is one area where women are loathe to give up. That is why it makes for such an amazing metaphor. You have to have that tenacity and persistence in business and investing in order to succeed.

It’s a lot like our relationships. They take work, and both sides have to perform or it can be a loveless, energy draining situation. If that’s the case, Break UP! And in the case of the market, SELL! Give up or ignore your relationships in life, and you die alone or in the company of misery. Give up or ignore your relationship with Mr. Market, and the end is poverty.

Money has just as much potential to bring us opportunity for joy or torment as the men in our lives.

More Than One Man
There is more than one man in the world and there is more than one market. All I have to do is find the good ones. It was the Sweet Potato Queen, Jill Conner Brown who said we all need 5 men in our lives to cover the necessities: one who can fix things, one to have sex with, one to dance with, one to talk to, and one to pay for things (lucky are those who find one man who possesses at least 3 of the qualities. Hated is the one who has found one man who can do all five!)

Well, it’s no different with Mr. Market. I’m looking for qualities in a business that I LOVE. If they can fix things, dance and pay for things, it’s a keeper. If they do what they say they are going to do, and I like the people who run the business. It is date worthy. If they keep themselves out of debt, and generate profit to pay for things, I’m very attracted.

What girl wouldn’t want true love and a healthy balance sheet?

Oh, Audible. How do I love thee, let me count the ways.

Not as judgmental: If the book sucks, no bother. I listened to it while cleaning, driving, exercising, or other mundane tasks that had to be done. I accomplished exactly what I needed to in that moment. I didn’t devote precious reading time alone to a crappy book. It makes me less judgmental and more willing to risk listening to something outside my usual interests. Knowing I will be able to multitask while listening to E=MC2 is the only reason I downloaded this history of the science equation. Made my family irritated for a week while I recounted all the facts I found fascinating.  Great fun. 

Excuses Limited: Who has the time? Friends in my book club find it difficult to read our one book a month, while I can usually find the extra time to “read”/listen to as many as 5 books a month. This volume of reading makes me an insufferable nightmare of useless knowledge that changes constantly, but it hasn’t stopped me.

More for the $:  I am a legacy member of Audible from September of 2001 and as such have a plan that allows me 5 books per month. I went to cancel it once, and the customer rep told me I was crazy. “No one can get this plan anymore, and if you cancel you’ll lose it.” He offered a 3 month break at which time it would restart, and I have been loving the resource ever since.

Parents: - Are you trying to get your kids to read more? Audible on their ipod is fabulous. My son listens to books while he does his math homework, and so far this year has read Inkheart, Inkspell, 3 Cups of Tea and Freakonomics. What 13 year old reads a book about economics? And that is 4 books in addition to his reading assignment for school (I don’t let him listen to the book for the Accelerated Reading Goal. There is a difference to listening and reading the words from the teacher’s standpoint). I haven’t hooked my 8 year old yet, but give me time. I’m quite the influencer, and a benevolent dictator. I see book reports in her future. HooHAHAHa

Discreet: Have you ever wanted to read a book that seems a bit embarrassing? You know, like “He dumped me, now what.” or “How to talk to your pets”. Who wants to advertise to everyone on the plane what you’re reading. With Audible I can listen to that book on the plane with my Bose Quiet Comfort 3’s and no one is the wiser.

Vocabulary and Pronunciation: When listening to a complex book with foreign phrases, all the pronunciation is done for you. You learn the way it’s supposed to be pronounced and at the end of the book I feel much more educated.

Sexy Voice: Listening to Scott Brick read anything is like eating a Cold Stone MudPie Mojo in the Love It size. Heavenly! His voice is absolutely made for thrillers, and even better when he’s telling me the piles in my office are actually a sign of intelligence in “A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder”

Author’s own voice:  This one is a two edged sword. I loved the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy that was 5 books read by Douglas Adams. There’s something magical about his British accent, and deadpan, sarcastic delivery of some of the adventures that just makes the whole experience a joy. The other side of this is something like “Stones From The River” by Ursula Hegi. I couldn’t finish it. It was for book club, and her monotone delivery was just too depressing. There are times when the author should step aside and let Scott Brick do the reading.

Money Again: The stock got crushed when it was publicly traded. I saw it down at $9.00 and figured that since I was such a fan, I just had to buy a little. It went down immediately, but not to my stop price. Then about 3 months later, Amazon.com bought them out at $13.00. Cool. Made enough for a few more years of service! Love them.

Knowledge is Key:  Friends are amazed that I am so well read.  I tell them my secret and I’m telling you.  The only reason I have read as many books as I have is because of Audible.  There are so many amazing things to learn, and there is no excuse for not reading anymore.

It has always been my policy to try and find the easiest way to accomplish anything.  Audible.com is the perfect way to ditch your excuse about not having any time to read.  Huge cop out if your have internet and an ipod (or one of the many devices that are compatible).  You don’t have to succumb to the level of addiction that I regularly maintain, but the one per month could be a reasonable start!  Get going.

Watched X-Men 2 the other day.  It’s been out a long time so if you haven’t watched it yet I’m going to assume you don’t plan to.   And yet, let me warn you now about the spoiler nature of this entry.

So here is my quick rant:

 Logan’s love interest, Jean, was not killed in the massive water that engulfed her in the first X-Men movie.  Her powers shielded her from the weight of the water.  She comes out from under the water with her powers restored.  Immediately she encounters her grieving husband, Scott.  They embrace and she proceeds to, by accident, disintegrate Scott into individual atoms.  Not good for Scott.  She’s pretty upset by the outcome as well.   

The Problem:

It turns out that she is the most powerful mutant of all of them.  Magnito is able to move metal, Logan can heal himself and cut anything with his claws, and Xavier has psychic ability, but Jean can do anything she chooses.  She stops bullets of “The Cure” from barraging her.  She directs the wind and water.  She is telepathic, and can disintegrate matter.  With control and respect for life, this is a great deal for Jean.  Big problem though, she can’t control it.  So when she loses control there is only one left who can get near her.  We’ll get to that.

Jean has a split personality.  One personality, Jean, is good and loving and follows the social convention.  The other is named Phoenix.  Phoenix is ruled by emotion, and is royally pissed off that she was relegated to the dark recesses of Jean’s mind instead of the light of day.  Phoenix kills Xavier for having subordinated her alter ego for so long.   Xavier pleads with her to come back to the safety of the mansion, and tells her they can work on her “control issues”.  Well, not in so many words, but I’m paraphrasing drastically here.  It’s not a literary discourse, after all, just a rant.

Xavier was like a father figure to her, and was completely well meaning in helping Jean suppress her great ability.  It was his belief that suppressing her ability was the only way to control it’s vast potential.  Magnito, the other father figure, doesn’t agree.  He looks at mutant powers as a chance to control others for his own ultimate goals.  But by this time, Phoenix is out, and she is not going to go back into hiding.  Xavier’s pleadings for Jean to suppress Phoenix again are useless.   Phoenix is in full rage mode and decides to disintegrate him with her thoughts. 

Is it just me, or have we all dreamed of being able to do that to a man at some point in our lives?  But I digress.  With the Phoenix side of her personality fully in control after offing Xavier she decides to go with the evil father figure, power hungry Magnito.  But she is also aware of his desire to use her.  She resists being under his control as well.  It’s a great deal when you finally unleash to power.  Once expanded, you just can’t get back into the small cage.

Then there is Logan.  The man she loves.  He is the only one who can get near her when her wrath is unleashed due to his quick healing ability and her feelings of attraction to him.  He battles toward her in the middle of the chaos she is creating.  He has to get to her in order to stop her from disintegrating the whole world around her.  He finally reaches her. He tells her he loves her.  She cries out to him, “save me” and he buries his claws into her body killing her.

The Solution:

Really Logan, did you have to kill her?  Couldn’t you talk her off the ledge?  Draw out Jean as the woman you love to make peace with Phoenix?  So great a power, and yet the only solution for this dualistic goddess is to kill her?   Well screw that.  Don’t kill the “dark” side.  You have to embrace it and join it to the princess.  Together they are capable of untold greatness.  Suppress her, and eventually it will destroy your fairy tale in a blaze of glory.

You’ve heard the saying “Well behaved women rarely make history.”  Awe, more of the same.  Suppress and deny.  Misbehaving is a way to challenge mediocrity.  It is our nature, and I can’t suppress it, and still live my best life.  Have you chatted with your Phoenix lately? Dig deep to find your alter ego before she explodes your life and gets taken out.  We need both.  And don’t hand that power to anyone else.  

Bring on the Chaos!